all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
