"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
