I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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