let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
