yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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