absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
