I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
