You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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