I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
