did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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