she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
please come you make the beer taste better
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the day after is always just damage control
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
