i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
