i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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