it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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