Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
