um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
