Moan for me like Helen Keller
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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