turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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