I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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