my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
