ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
