Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
