I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am available for nakedness
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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