Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
