We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
