My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
