Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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