I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just found puke in my bra..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Who died my cat blue again?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
