Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
