it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I had to cum in my sink.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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