I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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