He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize