that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
