Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
