Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
