If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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