You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
