Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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