Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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