Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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