What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
