I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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