I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
