Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
