so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
