How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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