After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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