we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
