He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
