If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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