I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Let's get the cat blown out
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
