erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
there is puke in my bra ... again
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