if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
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