All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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