he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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