he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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