For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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