im drinking this country out of the recession.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize