OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
