1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
