and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
should my penis look like a turkey
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
